No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
ugly people sure do ruin things
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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