the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
