i was rollin on her like bob the builder
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
