R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
