It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
