I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
