Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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