im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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