There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
last night I used snow as a chaser
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