I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
