So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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