I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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