im gay
i know
yea but for you.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
