i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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