I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
