These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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