dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize