i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
not ubering you a puppy
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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