After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
it was like eating out sand paper
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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