i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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