I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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