We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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