Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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