We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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