don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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