so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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