she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
