I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
