I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
