he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
