Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
