I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
