Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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