She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
