You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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