i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
