4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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