with your own penis?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
