I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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