YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
