hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize