whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
