I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
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