i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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