You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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