Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
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So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
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Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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