drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
