just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
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