The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Damn victory sex feels great
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize