he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
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apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
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I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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