We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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