I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
