wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.