Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(512): View more from Texas

I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.

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(512): I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd. http://tfl.nu/ry1b

Replies (23) Good night (668) Bad night (1400)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.

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(215): he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out. http://tfl.nu/lwob

Replies (15) Good night (1006) Bad night (3516)
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(315): View more from New York

Random question, how's your gag reflex these days

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(315): Random question, how's your gag reflex these days http://tfl.nu/0fku

Replies (10) Good night (4612) Bad night (913)
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(303): View more from Colorado

I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.

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(303): I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number. http://tfl.nu/465z

Replies (31) Good night (15776) Bad night (991)
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(925): View more from California

I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible

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(925): I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible http://tfl.nu/u9b3

Replies (16) Good night (4324) Bad night (1144)
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.

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(267): I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement. http://tfl.nu/314h

Replies (10) Good night (1400) Bad night (2957)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.

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(724): Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips. http://tfl.nu/myh4

Replies (5) Good night (2784) Bad night (923)
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(407): View more from Florida

Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them

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(407): Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them http://tfl.nu/nkku

Replies (7) Good night (920) Bad night (1802)
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(806): View more from Texas

I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.

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(806): I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you. http://tfl.nu/8w6h

Replies (12) Good night (3387) Bad night (971)
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(+61): View more from Australia

I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.

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(+61): I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it. http://tfl.nu/00sg

Replies (2) Good night (1086) Bad night (699)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..

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(505): Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore.. http://tfl.nu/qq6k

Replies (8) Good night (1236) Bad night (650)
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(970): View more from Colorado

Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...

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(970): Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out... http://tfl.nu/zr6z

Replies (3) Good night (933) Bad night (476)
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers

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(267): This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers http://tfl.nu/wazn

Replies (6) Good night (1450) Bad night (436)
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(209): View more from California

I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.

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(209): I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here. http://tfl.nu/o4b3

Replies (5) Good night (1070) Bad night (382)
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(705): View more from Ontario

this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer

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(705): this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer http://tfl.nu/chqz

Replies (2) Good night (643) Bad night (404)

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