Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events

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  (586): I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events http://tfl.nu/1mgv
  Replies (7) Good night (1098) Bad night (1409)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you

  (1-636): View more from Missouri

  when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced

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  (636): dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you (1-636): when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced http://tfl.nu/5nrz
  Replies (5) Good night (1918) Bad night (1130)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.

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  (412): When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career. http://tfl.nu/solb
  Replies (2) Good night (739) Bad night (2168)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.

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  (202): i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not. http://tfl.nu/o6ew
  Replies (3) Good night (1822) Bad night (711)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.

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  (701): Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore. http://tfl.nu/9hf8
  Replies (5) Good night (1966) Bad night (673)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots

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  (605): When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots http://tfl.nu/ud2p
  Replies (7) Good night (1415) Bad night (710)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.

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  (647): I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette. http://tfl.nu/pqu7
  Replies (4) Good night (1597) Bad night (563)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.

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  (647): I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat. http://tfl.nu/9m2y
  Replies (3) Good night (861) Bad night (626)
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  (805): View more from California

  The air was thick with penises

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  (805): The air was thick with penises http://tfl.nu/1iew
  Replies (4) Good night (1358) Bad night (644)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.

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  (303): Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up. http://tfl.nu/afn3
  Replies (6) Good night (1133) Bad night (511)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!

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  (908): When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?! http://tfl.nu/arig
  Replies (3) Good night (1496) Bad night (395)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"

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  (727): After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer" http://tfl.nu/pzul
  Replies (4) Good night (1205) Bad night (505)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.

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  (901): 2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares. http://tfl.nu/3b6c
  Replies (10) Good night (404) Bad night (704)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.

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  (904): I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day. http://tfl.nu/ua14
  Replies (1) Good night (595) Bad night (305)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???

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  (501): Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating??? http://tfl.nu/mgec
  Replies (10) Good night (278) Bad night (690)

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