Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.