i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night