the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
He is an equal opportunity slut.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life