I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
