every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
