once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Randomize
